乙未羊年新歲

good one

death sat on my knee and cracked with laughter 

by Charles Bukowski

I was writing three short stories a week

and sending them to the Atlantic Monthly

they would all come back.
my money went for stamps and envelopes

and paper and wine

and I got so thin I used to suck my cheeks together
and they'd meet over the top of my
tongue (that's when I thought about
Hamsun's Hunger - where he ate his own flesh; I once took a bite of my wrist
but it was very salty).

anyhow, one night in Miami Beach (I

have no idea what I was doing in that 

city) I had not eaten in 60 hours
and I took the last of my starving
pennies
went down to the corner grocery and 
bought a loaf of bread.
I planned to chew each slice slowly - 
as if each were a slice of turkey
or a luscious 
steak
and I got back to my room and
opened the wrapper and the 
slices of bread were green
and mouldy.

my party was not to be.

I just dumped the bread upon the
floor
and I sat on that bed wondering about
the green mould, the
decay.

my rent money was used up and 
I listened to all the sounds
of all the people in that 
roominghouse

and down on the floor were 
the dozens of stories with the 

dozens of Atlantic Monthly

rejection slips.

it was early evening and I 

turned out the light and

 went to bed and

it wasn't long before I

heard the mice coming out,

I heard them creeping over my

immortal stories and

eating the 

green mouldy bread.

and in the morning

when I awakened

I saw that

all that was left of the

bread

was the green mould.

they had eaten right to the 

edge of the mould

leaving chunks of 

it

among the stories and 

rejection slips

as I heard the sound of

my landlady's vacuum 

cleaner

bumping down the

hall

slowly approaching my 

door.

敗在辛辣麵手上

我越來越愛看食物的label，任何似化學品的名稱，都被我視為對身體無益的東東，然後放進「最好別買」的系列，但是辛辣麵還是偶爾會忍不住手買兩包。

我很喜歡吃麵，自己一個人時常常吃麵，湯餃、雲吞麵、生牛河、魚旦粉，有湯的我都愛。但麵的味粉其實都是味精，於是自己多買無味粉的麵。

我最近連雞湯都儘量不買超市的，改為自己買雞殼，煲一大鍋後冷藏待用。因為我發現大部分雞湯還是有很多化學品。而號稱全天然，有機那些，就...不好味。

有一下我甚至在想，那些煲雞湯的雞殼，都是打針大的雞吧，其實這煲湯也不是真的很天然。

當然，這樣牛角尖下去，連食素也無用，應該索性自殺算了-__-

我認為有機食物未必一定健康得多或原味得多，但我希望至少可以拒絕吃下太多添加劑進肚子。只是有點固執地堅持天然的我，偶然還是敗在辛辣麵手上。

辛辣麵，你真是太邪惡了！

Elf Hat

I make myself an elf hat. I suppose I look taller that way.

But it is -20 today. Crisse! Not even an elf can stand it.