Monday, August 24, 2015

Swimming is nice because...


Sandy and I talked each time finishing one lap. 
A lot of talking until we found ourselves becoming those we desprise the most, those bitches, those fatasses who come to the pool just to do the talking. 

Then we do another lap and talk. 

Talk is so relaxing, swimming too.

This is what we did before going to the Kowloon Chai Swimming Pool. We made photos for some winter hats.

That crazy idea had probably made the swimming pool more appealing.

Talking and seeing friends are my relax formula.

I am in fact a bitch AND a fatass.

Friday, August 7, 2015

握手 Se serrer la main


有兩間工程公司傾生意。

鬼佬想對手減點價,問:6% OK?

中國老闆認為減6%冇得做,最多減3%,於是他舉起三隻手指。

鬼佬伸出手來,想握手表示合作愉快。

為中國老闆打工的一個small potato發現鬼佬一副高興樣,在千鈞一髮之際截住老闆:
「咪住!佢以為你話OK喎!」

如果握了手,就成交了啊。

我個friend,就是這個small potato。而且只是我笑佢,佢其實已經係公司第二把交椅。



Deux sociétés ingénierie se sont discuté pour un accord.

Un chef expatrié a voulu baisser le prix, alors il demandait, '6%, OK?'

Le chef chinois a trouvé qu'un rabais de 6% était impossible, le maximum il pouvait offrir c'est 3%. Donc il est monté 3 doigts.

Le chef expatrié est sorti sa main et a été prêt à serrer la main à l'autre partie.

Un pipi de chat qui travaille pour le chef chinois a trouvé que le chef expatrié était tout content. Au tout dernier moment, il est arrêté son patron, 'Attention! Il crois que tu dis d'accord!'

Si ils se serraient la main, l'affaire serait confirmé.

Le pipi de chat c'est mon ami. En fait il est plus que le pipi mais la tête de chat peut être, parce qu'il est le député de la société. 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Barney's Version



半年前聽到新聞報道,說滿地可猶太人區一間公立圖書館將會易名為Mordecai Richler圖書館,然後主持人互相問你最熟悉的作品是哪本。我心想,即是作品列入教科書的大作家吧。

和Gervais談起,他說好好看啊他的書,最好看就是Barney's Version。臨離開滿地可前,給我在舊書店找到這書,買下一看,已經覺得好好笑。對我來說,看這書簡直就像聽Woody Allen說對白那樣,句句幽默抵死,原來猶太人幽默是有個譜的。

Barney's Version是本偽自傳。Mordecai Richler用Barney Panofsky這個主人翁來說一個生於加拿大三十年代、前半生在法國文藝圈打混的猶太人的故事。笑猶太人貪錢、笑魁北克人想獨立想到黐了線、笑藝術家朋友的上位作品,就是他飲到醉時有份用地拖加兩筆的;到最後,其實是笑自己畏首畏尾的荒誕人生。

讀著猶太人的自嘲,覺得和中國人的黑色幽默有點類似。看看余華的書或葛優的戲,都是好好笑但好苦,如出一轍。

"Hey, when I went to pass an exam on promotions, Gilbert was on the board then, he says to me, how come the Jews are smarter? I got two answers, I says. You’re wrong. There’s no such thing as a superhuman. But the only thing I got to tell you, if you take a dog and kick him around he’s got to be alert, he’s got to be more sharper than you. Well, we’ve been kicked around for two thousand years. We’re not more smarter, we’re more alert. 

My other answer is the story about the Irishman and the Jew. How come you’re smarter? the Irishman asks the Jew. Well, we eat a certain kind of fish, the Jew says. In fact, I’ve got one right here, and he shows it to the Irishman. Christ, the Irishman says, I’d like to have that fish. Sure, the Jew says, give me ten bucks. So he gives it to him. Then the Irishman looks at it good and says, hey, that’s no fish, that’s a herring. So the Jew says, you see, you’re getting smarter already.”


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Prisoner and the guard


Everytime after walk, mom put milly upside down
the fan facing her blow dry her wet belly 
for half and hour...
Sometimes even longer
Mom said milly is in prison, so is she.
To pass the time, she talked to her, sang to her and scratch her belly.
Does she enjoy it? 
I don't know
She just let us do it for as long as we wish
until we say "OK"
then she turns
The roast duck is done!


美好冬日周末

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