很大的一個"BITCH"字

在大成街街市的M層，有一個賣夜冷的檔口。這檔口，讓我嚐到關於翻譯的一個挑戰。

東莞鄉下的阿姐，在這夜冷店賣布匹、衣物、絲帶和聖誕飾物，貨品陳列得亂七八糟，非常地富有街市風味。我在夜冷店摷牛仔布時，東莞姐很熱烈地推銷：「啱我就計平啲畀你啦」。兩個在看衣服的阿太，也一起和著，說這匹牛仔布夠做條褲，洗洗水再車冇咁硬那樣。

「喂幫下眼呀，啱唔啱身呀？」一位阿太突然叫我給點意見，於是我回頭一看。她把一件黑色衛衣穿上身，的確是很合身，但是胸前有很大的一個"BITCH"字。

我打了個突。究竟應否向阿太如實相告，以免她日後被恥笑？

東莞姐繼續很努力地推銷：「好睇呀！平時都冇得試身架！就呢件啦。」為了不想辜負她，我以剪裁為出發點：「都好合身呀，幾好睇！」

阿太轉身，我看到衛衣的背部印著"PROUD TO BE 1"。然後她笑著問我：「寫住咩架件衫？最怕寫埋啲嘢畀人笑。我之前買咗件衫，原來寫住「我係處女」呀該煨！」她和朋友在哈哈笑。

我也一起哈哈笑，但暗中在冒汗。她那件衫，和這件不就是天作之合？一個曾經買了I am a virgin衫的女人，為何再揀衫，沒有選上Rock n roll never dies或是Happy all the time之類的衫，而是繼續選中Bitch: Pround to be 1這類富有強烈女性主義的衫？

「唔...真係要講？」我掩飾不了我的口窒窒，東莞姐馬上意會到勢色不對，連隨按著我手臂好爽快地說；「咁咪講啦！」我感受到她手掌的力量。

我也很想為東莞姐促成這交易，但件衫明明說自己是八婆啊，買完穿上時被笑，也是很柒的；於是我說：「哦，ER...佢前面話我係好潑辣嘅，後面就話我係咁架啦，吹咩。但真係幾好睇呀，好啱你身(X100)......」

阿太笑笑說：「哦，咁都幾串個喎。」

最後阿太買了！我很興幸沒有倒夜冷店這45蚊的米，也能婉轉地將意思告訴了阿太。我的翻譯能力也很稱職，如果我連那一點猶豫及口窒窒都去掉就更出色。

(我很想拍下阿太穿著Bitch衫的樣子，但我實在太擔心會令交易拉倒，所以我最後甚麼都沒有拍。)

我最後也買了牛仔布，東莞姐很開心。

Left at 3 and arrived home at 6

I was pissed off when all the buses going to Tung Chung were occupied by the Big Buddha and Tai O  visitors so that people in Tong Fuk like me were trapped.

Heading to Mui Wo wasn't a preferred route, but once I realised I have to take it as it is, the long journey home wasn't that bad.

Diamond Hill must be too remote.

心中的雞

何阿爺那天跟我說，從前養了一隻公雞，那公雞晚上會跟他上閣樓，睡在他枕頭邊，並且在他的教導下，停止在天亮時雞啼，最後朋友說，終有一天要吃牠，他說，等我走咗先。

於是我把加拿大農場內兩隻公雞雞啼的片放給他看。那兩隻公雞仔好靚，其中一隻尾巴的黑藍色真是美極了。但牠們真是很喪，一天到晚都雞啼。

我小時候也曾在天台養公雞，但是牠超惡，特別愛啄人的上五寸下五寸。你穿水靴嗎？牠跳高來啄你。

Gervais曾跟我說，小時候養了一群雞(還是鴨呢？)，牠們愛全部跟著他走，他很喜歡這些鴨子。但有一天阿媽說要吃了他們，他就很傷心，很嬲阿媽。

忽然間想起大家心中的雞，而何阿爺那晚也煮了咖哩 雞。

東澳古道

由東涌逸東邨走到大澳的古道，是以往天氣不佳、不宜坐船時，當地居民的陸路選項。這條繞大嶼山西北海邊的石屎路長約15公里，行畢全程約需3小時，途經多條古村，趣味盎然。終點大澳的美麗毋須多說，但看到正在建的港珠澳大橋橋躉，竟然與大嶼山各海灣近在咫尺，實在感到有點不安。

村屋外的柴排列整齊，屋中的人都在出出入入似在扮節慶，這間村屋生氣勃勃。

     

 陽光充沛，是曬洛神花、龍眼及香蕉的好時候

深屈村的自重香蕉檔，蕉皮定價，自己畀錢

岸邊不遠的橋躉，不久就會駁成一條大橋。

快到大澳時，回頭望望一路走的海灣。

  生態豐富的大嶼山西北，沿路都有不同蝴蝶在飛舞

從大澳的後山來到目的地，是一眺大澳的好地點

 

屋企

幫外國記者深夜採訪睡麥當勞的人，這不是甚麼新現象，但親身看到有多達18人睡在餐廳一角時，還是很震撼的。

他們比起街頭流浪漢是整齊一點，各自有個袋子，有些會帶有被，有些只蓋張報紙，有些索性插著耳機隨著音樂入睡。有些伏在桌上，更多是在長凳上躺下。

他們當中不是所有人也是無家可歸，但也許是家裡沒有冷氣，也許是家裡太多人、打地舖也擠不下，所以都走來睡了。

記者問他們，香港作為國際城市，有很多有錢人，但自己卻要睡餐廳，會否覺得不公平。

每一個都回答：係咁架啦。

那種社會公平不公平的問題，實在與他們相隔太遠了。他們只會覺得自己不幸傷了開不到工，或學識不高找不到工作。他們不會反問為何醫療費用高、綜援手續多、公屋人龍長。因為這些宏觀的東西，都非他們所能想像的。

坐在附近與朋友吃薯條的青年，算是很有同情心，他沒有對來睡的人反感，也不介意坐他們附近。但他會覺得，社會雖然不景氣，但是在各種福利或支援下，應該不至於會睡到麥當勞來。

我也會有這樣的想法。

不過，聽到他們對社會運作的不甚理解後，我想這種「總不會要睡到麥當勞裡」的想法應該來自我們收看了各種資訊所致吧。對大部分沒有上網、偶然看看報紙，看後也不見得會懂得把有用資料抄下的露宿者來說，如果沒有人把一個地址塞到他們手上，叫他們每天下午去取飯盒，或沒有社工上前為他們登記申請各項協助的話，他們真的不會懂得去自己找門路去幫自己。

於是他們只能困難地自己過下去。

青山歲月

2015年10月1日國慶假期，我們在青山走了一回。這年我36歲，能夠有一班都喜歡陽光與活動的朋友，還是很感謝，因為那不是必然的。

雖然青山不易行，回程時還被一個又一個山頭弄得有點不耐煩；但整天以來，想得更多的是香港的好地方真多，以及，要買一點好的裝備。

青山發射塔，青山射靶場；電台聽過他們的名字少說已幾十年，卻頭一次看到它們真身，我連發射塔發射甚麼都沒有試著了解。我只知青山的好，卻不知如何說它有多好。

Friendship

Friendship means helping each other. 

So I help her to roll out her gown;

 while she helped me to feel like a VIP.

Vacation, with beer

We all felt like we were inTaiwan when we arrived the Cape d'Aguilar.

Seeing the waves, we all thought of beer.

But we were in Hong Kong, with a bottle of water only.

This place is amazing! 

Don de Dieu

Mon ami, tu as perdu du poids.

D'habitude, c'est bon pour toi, mais pas cette fois-là.

Pas grave, après tout ça, j'ai vu un ami d'espoir.

Tu m'a dit que depuis, c'est l'eau tu boiras

D'accord, je gardes la bière chez moi.

Princess

Princess is a huge husky living next door. She is young, very friendly and curious. We always catch her looking out from the window, sometimes we call her name and wave hands to her, she would return us a smile, then she would continue to look outside. Princess may be a poor name for a husky, but she is really trapped in a castle, just like a princess in the fairy tale. 

Swimming is nice because...

Sandy and I talked each time finishing one lap. 

A lot of talking until we found ourselves becoming those we desprise the most, those bitches, those fatasses who come to the pool just to do the talking. 

Then we do another lap and talk. 

Talk is so relaxing, swimming too.

This is what we did before going to the Kowloon Chai Swimming Pool. We made photos for some winter hats.

That crazy idea had probably made the swimming pool more appealing.

Talking and seeing friends are my relax formula.

I am in fact a bitch AND a fatass.

握手 Se serrer la main

有兩間工程公司傾生意。

鬼佬想對手減點價，問：6% OK？

中國老闆認為減6%冇得做，最多減3%，於是他舉起三隻手指。

鬼佬伸出手來，想握手表示合作愉快。

為中國老闆打工的一個small potato發現鬼佬一副高興樣，在千鈞一髮之際截住老闆：
「咪住！佢以為你話OK喎！」

如果握了手，就成交了啊。

我個friend，就是這個small potato。而且只是我笑佢，佢其實已經係公司第二把交椅。

Deux sociétés ingénierie se sont discuté pour un accord.

Un chef expatrié a voulu baisser le prix, alors il demandait, '6%, OK?'

Le chef chinois a trouvé qu'un rabais de 6% était impossible, le maximum il pouvait offrir c'est 3%. Donc il est monté 3 doigts.

Le chef expatrié est sorti sa main et a été prêt à serrer la main à l'autre partie.

Un pipi de chat qui travaille pour le chef chinois a trouvé que le chef expatrié était tout content. Au tout dernier moment, il est arrêté son patron, 'Attention! Il crois que tu dis d'accord!'

Si ils se serraient la main, l'affaire serait confirmé.

Le pipi de chat c'est mon ami. En fait il est plus que le pipi mais la tête de chat peut être, parce qu'il est le député de la société. 

Barney's Version

半年前聽到新聞報道，說滿地可猶太人區一間公立圖書館將會易名為Mordecai Richler圖書館，然後主持人互相問你最熟悉的作品是哪本。我心想，即是作品列入教科書的大作家吧。

和Gervais談起，他說好好看啊他的書，最好看就是Barney's Version。臨離開滿地可前，給我在舊書店找到這書，買下一看，已經覺得好好笑。對我來說，看這書簡直就像聽Woody Allen說對白那樣，句句幽默抵死，原來猶太人幽默是有個譜的。

Barney's Version是本偽自傳。Mordecai Richler用Barney Panofsky這個主人翁來說一個生於加拿大三十年代、前半生在法國文藝圈打混的猶太人的故事。笑猶太人貪錢、笑魁北克人想獨立想到黐了線、笑藝術家朋友的上位作品，就是他飲到醉時有份用地拖加兩筆的；到最後，其實是笑自己畏首畏尾的荒誕人生。

讀著猶太人的自嘲，覺得和中國人的黑色幽默有點類似。看看余華的書或葛優的戲，都是好好笑但好苦，如出一轍。

"Hey, when I went to pass an exam on promotions, Gilbert was on the board then, he says to me, how come the Jews are smarter? I got two answers, I says. You’re wrong. There’s no such thing as a superhuman. But the only thing I got to tell you, if you take a dog and kick him around he’s got to be alert, he’s got to be more sharper than you. Well, we’ve been kicked around for two thousand years. We’re not more smarter, we’re more alert. 

My other answer is the story about the Irishman and the Jew. How come you’re smarter? the Irishman asks the Jew. Well, we eat a certain kind of fish, the Jew says. In fact, I’ve got one right here, and he shows it to the Irishman. Christ, the Irishman says, I’d like to have that fish. Sure, the Jew says, give me ten bucks. So he gives it to him. Then the Irishman looks at it good and says, hey, that’s no fish, that’s a herring. So the Jew says, you see, you’re getting smarter already.”

Prisoner and the guard

Everytime after walk, mom put milly upside down
the fan facing her blow dry her wet belly 

for half and hour...

Sometimes even longer

Mom said milly is in prison, so is she.

To pass the time, she talked to her, sang to her and scratch her belly.

Does she enjoy it? 

I don't know

She just let us do it for as long as we wish

until we say "OK"

then she turns

The roast duck is done!

Mind my business

I am so excited to receive this stamp! 

Reason no. 1: I designed it

Reason no. 2: I purchase from local artist

Reason no. 3: It is very cheap

Reason no. 4 My "business" looks more serious with a stamp

Reason no. 5: It is always fun to stamp!

Maybe I should seriously think about using it for my bank.

To walk a pug

I am her number one favourite street buddy, definitely. 

Every evening if my mom takes out the leash, she ducks under the chair, under the table, or under the bed.

When the leash is on my hand, she would come out and greet it, bark in a happy manner and breathe heavily.

I guess I win her heart by giving her more freedom on the street.

She would jump over the drain cover to save her feets from trapping in there, even the holes on it are tiny. She would bark against other dogs from far but she never dared to get close. She doesn't know how to enter a moving escalator, but she knows how to leave. She would lie down flat on floor upon return to the lift lobby in summer. Because the lobby is air-conditioned and the floor is made of stone.

These things repeat and repeat, but I never feel bored, I like her accompnay.

被時代選中的我們

在書展買了這本出版已有一段日子的雨傘書。

雨傘書相集、畫集、文集不少，也不知道哪本是有質素、哪本叫完整、哪本觀點精闢；最後看到很多意見領袖都願意推介這本，就買下，當留個記念，別去想這本是否最抵買或最應該買就是了。

登上巴士，掀著掀著讀，感覺馬上就湧回來。

那種自我感覺良好、愛、守望、最壞的年代最好的年代甚麼的，即使不切實際，對普選沒有半點用，但只要上過一次街，這些感覺就永遠附隨身上；書寫得出色絕頂還是未夠火候，其實都不重要。讀幾句，感覺馬上返晒來。

雖然對香港未來只感無奈非常，但對於那幾十天的事，心中還是有一種類似江湖兄弟的一記「好！」的感覺。即使大家曾經有過忐忑、質疑、或支持但不絕對支持，但只要隨著心中大方向就好。我們畢竟是同路人，有幸一起在途上。

Imperfection

Asymmetric, poorly calculated shadow, casual handwriting, this is the product of my impatience.

I am not saying I like it anyway because I worked on it. No. It is still very ugly, but there was something interesting from this absolutely unskilled work.

When I was mixing the colour, "Oh what the hack I am mixing? The green doesn't look like glass at all."

When I was working on the reflecting spot, "Come on, it is so awkward, just like a white square."

When I was putting on the outline of the bottle,  "I wish I had not put on the outline. But it is too late now."

Problems were magnified during the process. They led me to treat the sheet even more slovenly. 

The night when I looked at it again, it is still a poorly drawn bottle, but I didn't feel as angry as when I was working on it. 

Maybe that's what people say, "You have a better picture when you look from a distance." 

Someone like Kandinsky could draw a square bottle and argue that you just don't understand the curve in it; for me, I'd better make no excuse and learn the classical way.

Natural like breathing

After years of walking next to each other,  

my best friend Deniece is marrying Ken soon

No surprise, no overjoy, no agitation, no drama

they make their way to the church

as natural as like breathing

But, isn't it good that we are breathing? 

由風扇開始講

舅父說：「我好掛住呢啲風扇，一條繩拉一拉就開。原來你屋企仲有。」

阿媽答：「好似以前奶婆個閣仔咁，佢一上閣仔，拉一拉繩就全閣仔光晒。我哋嗰時仲點緊火水燈咋，佢已經有電。梗係啦，佢嗰時開舖頭，賣米嘅。」

舅父：「我記得啲人成日讚佢煮野好食，其實係因為佢落得油多。佢嗰時唔肯節衣縮食，偷偷地買油煮餸，所以先咁好食。」

過咗一日，阿媽繼續回味：「我哋細個成日去奶婆度玩，佢間舖好大架，喺大欖，喺我哋小欖隔離，賣米既，拎啲米返嚟磨左佢先賣。」

「另一邊賣酒，有好多酒埕，一個個好大個鑲喺個櫃度。櫃上面有一個個匙羹，寫住一兩二兩，用嚟賣酒。我嗰時一隻腳踩住地下，另一隻腳跨上個櫃度...唔得架，整跌啲羹就聽俾人鬧死。阿舅母好惡架，叫我地唔好喺度玩。」她笑出來，好似仲係當年那個爬酒櫃的丫頭一樣。

「阿婆煮野好好食架，佢對人好囉，成日請人食嘢，所以鬥地主嗰陣，啲人都冇供佢出嚟。」

「我哋叫佢做奶婆，其實即係外婆。佢成日喺閣仔上面伸個頭出嚟望落嚟。」

「有時過節，我哋去食飯，有時食頭圍，有時食尾圍。我地細路仔，邊記得點解有飯食，總之就有啦。好多人食架，又有雞，仲有盞大光燈照住，好威。奶婆好好既，我地就時時食完拎隻脾番去俾阿麻食。」

我問：「咁婆婆細個咪好有錢？」

阿媽答：「係呀，以前婆婆係有錢架，係阿公冇錢啫。不過阿麻就醒呢，佢啲仔女全部都跟有錢人。三姑媽係，二姑媽又係，二姑媽個老公件衫腳掛住舊玉嘅。阿公就娶左婆婆。」

「婆婆三歲就死老豆，奶婆係靠自己一個人做生意，好叻架啦嗰陣時。有時婆婆冇嘢食，都係去奶婆度攞嘢畀我哋食。」

阿媽自動波大談佢同外婆的故事，佢嗰種嚮往同自豪，仲有童真，令我諗起我阿婆。

我哋冇好親密嘅婆孫關係，我冇印象我同佢有點樣接觸，我仲唔係好聽得明佢啲鄉下話，但佢算係非常和藹嘅老人家，尤其是晚年都算成日笑口常開，仲經常戴一頂手塚治虫或畢加索會戴的畫家帽出街。佢成世人都乾乾淨淨，在白加士街住時，屋企養咗隻貓。

我喺佢死後先慢慢知道佢嘅好人好事：我舅父話七八十年代，就算屋企生活困難，婆婆都瘋狂帶電器衣服物資返鄉下畀屋企人、喺我舅父經歷離婚時，雖然佢自己已經好老，離婚並唔係佢年代嘅嘢，但佢仍然好有力咁支持個仔；我阿媽話佢啞忍阿公有外遇；仲有死後大家先發現，佢一早幫自己準備好晒吉儀入晒紙巾，毋須晚輩操心。

我阿媽點樣回想起奶婆，或者就同我點樣回想我阿婆差唔多。我估我阿婆唔會諗到，佢頂帽、佢隻貓或者係佢自己摺定吉儀呢啲喺佢整個人生中唔多重要嘅點滴，會留喺我心裡面。而奶婆都應該唔會估到，佢閣樓嗰盞燈，會成為佢嘅標誌。

Childhood

Childhood is The Fair of Cornelius Gurlitt.

Hong Kong is a big green house

Hong Kong is a big green house, so warm, so wet. 

Smells of mowed lawn, fragrance of flowers, soaked jogging trail. I sweated like taking a wet sauna in the PK Village Road Park in a May evening. I kept thinking about the humidity and forgot the fatigue on the thighs. oh it was so soggy.

The filthy car park guy who used to pee outside his booth and stank the entrance is gone. He got a toilet job finally?

À mon gar préféré

Ça fait plaisir de marcher avec toi, au mois de mai, au parc Maisonneuve. À bientôt!

Ça roule bien

Cycling Race

What a fine start for the season. 

Bonne course!

Hello dolly!

Hello, Dolly, 

 this is Louis, Dolly

It's so nice to have you back where you belong

You're lookin' swell, Dolly

I can tell, Dolly

You're still glowin'

You're still crowin'

You're still goin' strong

好死

最近很多死訊。

Gervais的神父叔叔去世，享年89歲。
他行動不便，復活節時跌倒入院，過一周就走了。幸好，走前要見的親友都見了。

意大利咖啡室的客人Salvador，為朋友打理花園時倒下，發現時返魂乏術，享年60多歲。
意大利老細告訴我這消息時，是這樣說的：那個愛摘草菇的死了。

Gervais妹夫的父親也因病去世，享年82歲。聽說他死前性情大變，忽然很野蠻，會對家人惡言諸如：你先有病，我冇病！

我對他們認識甚寡，實在無法多說，只覺得如果不用受苦太久，不用受困於身體不便經年，不用長受針藥之苦，不用幽閉於冷寞的醫院空間，已算不錯了，就如意大利老細所說，是belle morte吧。






這是2012年在blog內對Salvador的描述：

云云意大利客人之中，這是我最喜歡的Salvador，他的外型和小矮人一樣，且總是油油髒髒、說話又一舊舊，但他平日最愛做的，是到森林摘草菇，帶回家油浸，他還會自己油浸紅椒、油浸茄子、製芝士、焗杏仁餅來蘸咖啡吃，好像還會打獵。

他每次來咖啡室，就會帶些吃的給老細、坐坐、看看報紙、不斷地叫espresso喝，非常可愛，他也曾好努力地教我說意大利文的「先生」、「小姐」、「太太」等等。

春風輕吻我像蛋撻

七十歲的書

朋友提起一位女作家Gabrielle Roy，說她寫以滿地可為背景的低下階層故事，我很感興趣，於是從圖書館預約她的成名作來看。怎料取書時附上一個膠文件袋，職員交給我時，說假如毀壞了膠套，要罰兩蚊。

下?對膠套也有責任?

把書取出來看，噢不得了，原來是1945年原裝版。

這本當年賣$1.5加幣的書，70年後的今日，圖書館覺得要小心使用，但是仍然很放膽的讓人借閱，甚至沒有為書加個包書膠。

圖書館只是將書放入文件袋，並附帶失袋罰兩蚊，還書必須交櫃台不能丟進還書箱，否則罰1蚊兩款很可愛的條款。

書確是有點鬆紙張泛黃，但還是很潔淨。

Gervais也說這種版本應該不能借出才對。但他也說，這書也許不放在書架上，只供預約者借，而專登預約這書的人，應該都是真的想看。

唔，這個城市對讀者還真是很信任。

那好吧，我不帶它入廁所，也不帶它去浸浴缸好了。

Mad Hatter and the March Hare

No one will regret going out jogging

It was fine yesterday afternoon, 3C with plenty of sunshine. I was lazy but I wanted to make a brief record about jogging in this city; base on the saying that no one will regret to go jogging, I pushed myself out of the house.

My "gears" include gloves, bandana and hankerchief. Bandana is useful to localise the ponytail, or to cover the nose and mouth when the air is chilly. Hankerchief is for my runny nose.

The snow is melting. 

In the entrance of the Botanical Garden the landmark of Montreal, the Olympic Tour for the game in 1976 can be seen. It is so close to where I live, everytime when I see it from far, I know where home is. 

A tour of the garden is approximately 3km, you can imagine it like Kowloon park. When it is winter time it is free for everyone to enter.

The Chinese garden is secluded in the very centre of the botanical garten. The pond was still forzen, but birds were chirping already.

There was no flower and foliage yet, but wildlife.  2 foxes babies were walking back to where they live. The tiny orange thing on the picture above is one of them. 

Some people brought their cameras to capture these lovely animals. Among them, a guy told me that the fox couple in the garden made 6 babies two months ago.  

I ask him if they have enough to eat, "Il y a plein d'écureuils dans le jardin!" He must find me very naive, I forgot about the almost-too-many squirrels in the garden.  

The Olympic tour was there like a finish line. 

 I left the garden after finishing just one circle. I blamed the foxes and the fox watchers. Too much talking for jogging.